Every single time that I've cut my hair (I moonlight as my own barber) for the past 3 years, I intently check to see if I am going bald. It's like a pregnancy test for my hair...if my hair falling out is like being with child. I also do some other hair growth checks for the ears and nose. So far my hair is not pregnant, nor have I developed an insulation/filter process for my auditory and olfactory systems. Even though I haven't seen any major changes I still check with certainty that this will be the moment I knew my life would change. There is a high probability that those with access to photos of me years ago may see a smidgeon of change on the battle line between forehead and hairline, but really nothing big. For full disclosure purposes, my arm hair has gotten longer and started to slide down my wrists toward the first knuckle of my pinkies, but that is more of a statement of pride than anything else.
It may sound like I am fearful of my physical appearance changing, but you would be incorrect. I would not choose to be bald; but I long ago lured a beautiful and intelligent young woman to put a ring on her finger and change her last name to Powell. So she's now stuck with whatever may become of my dome and I'm happy as long as she's around to admire it. The reality is that none of us know what is written on every page of our life. We don't really know what we will look like, what job we'll have, or who we'll date, who we'll marry, if we'll have kids or how many kids we'll end up with, or even the friends that we'll have. There are so many unknowns in life it can become overwhelming at times. Even if we know what we want, we might not know when or if that will ever be a part of our story.
At one point in my life I was convinced I would end up in the NBA; and I'd like to take this opportunity to let you all know I'm planning on entering the draft next year. That second part is not true. I did want to be a professional basketball player though. I thought that if I wanted it bad enough and if I practiced hard enough I could force it to happen for myself. The problem is I was not blessed with a supernatural ability to overcome the additional 6 inches I would need to compete at a top college, let alone in the NBA. If I had that ability and physique I would not have ended up going to the Bible college I went to, nor would I have met the love of my life, and I certainly would not have ended up volunteering at a church while working at an electrical wholesale warehouse. My life might not sound like the: "I've made it and so can you!" story; but when I take a deep breath and clear my thoughts I can tell you I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, doing anything else, with anyone else. I am blessed to have my story and would fight off anyone who would try to take it!
The point of this post is not to instill fear with the "what-ifs" or misguided hopes of "Imma-be's" (street lingo for: I'm going to be...why? cause that's how I roll), but rather to recognize the amount of hair I still have on my head and get to enjoy for one more haircut. Tomorrow is on it's way and it could change everything. We usually only have minimal control of our lives at any given moment. What are you doing with the little control you do have? Don't try to turn today into yesterday or tomorrow, that never works out.
I'm trying to figure out a strong finish for this post, but regardless of how hard I try the cliches seem to be black holes right at the moment pulling me ever-so-close. For fear of saying something like: "Live for today!" or "Carpe diem!" I will simply leave you knowing I'm very happy with my current hairline...and will be tomorrow too, regardless if it changes.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Far From Near
There was a day last week that seemed to be almost ideal. After work I played 9 holes of golf and then I played basketball following that. It was this point where my ideal evening slipped away. The fun got cut short because I got elbowed in the head which caused a sufficient amount of blood to exit through a gaping wound. I won't go into all of the gory details, but when I saw myself in the bathroom mirror it looked like I had been in an action movie. A quick trip to the ER left me with a decision: small scar with stitches and part of my life I'll never get back spent at the hospital, or I could do what tough guys have been doing for thousands of years and choose a little bit larger scar and the opportunity for a much manlier story for years to come. I chose the latter. If I'm honest the only question I needed to ask was what option didn't involve a needle of some type.
My evening leading up to that point felt like my life was right where I'd wanted. I had been having fun since I got off work doing what I wanted, and then I was planning on coming home and enjoying some quality time with my wife while the day came to a close. Instead of being near that ideal, I found myself far from it...which I can prove because I've had to sleep with a towel on my pillow just to make sure I didn't get blood on my pillow case.
My night is a scaled-down version of what most of us feel in life. The other day I heard a song with the lyrics "far from here", but when I first heard it I thought it said "far from near". That moment brought clarity. I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of slowly sneaking up on my dreams and goals, my ambition, my ideal; only for life to happen, or I gain a different perspective, and realize how far away I am. It's like a giant pendulum swinging back and forth, taunting me with the sensation of being near only to pull me away again.
Typically these posts will be lighthearted, but I believe that there is an important message that I've stumbled upon. Most of us have a good picture in our mind of the person we want to become. My problem with that mindset, is that there is a gap in life between now and when we "arrive" and are that ideal person. Sometimes our dreams change and sometimes we have to wait for what seems like a lifetime for it to become reality. My concern is for the life spent in waiting; for my life while I wait. With the realization that our dreams might be just out of reach or far from near, we can be the people today that we want to be then. It is not the titles and achievements that define who we are, but rather our character (how we live life) and relationships (who we spend our life with) that make up our identity.
My evening leading up to that point felt like my life was right where I'd wanted. I had been having fun since I got off work doing what I wanted, and then I was planning on coming home and enjoying some quality time with my wife while the day came to a close. Instead of being near that ideal, I found myself far from it...which I can prove because I've had to sleep with a towel on my pillow just to make sure I didn't get blood on my pillow case.
My night is a scaled-down version of what most of us feel in life. The other day I heard a song with the lyrics "far from here", but when I first heard it I thought it said "far from near". That moment brought clarity. I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of slowly sneaking up on my dreams and goals, my ambition, my ideal; only for life to happen, or I gain a different perspective, and realize how far away I am. It's like a giant pendulum swinging back and forth, taunting me with the sensation of being near only to pull me away again.
Typically these posts will be lighthearted, but I believe that there is an important message that I've stumbled upon. Most of us have a good picture in our mind of the person we want to become. My problem with that mindset, is that there is a gap in life between now and when we "arrive" and are that ideal person. Sometimes our dreams change and sometimes we have to wait for what seems like a lifetime for it to become reality. My concern is for the life spent in waiting; for my life while I wait. With the realization that our dreams might be just out of reach or far from near, we can be the people today that we want to be then. It is not the titles and achievements that define who we are, but rather our character (how we live life) and relationships (who we spend our life with) that make up our identity.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Refracted: Light and Perspective
I recently had a weird experience. During a church service I walked past a classroom full of PreK students drawing and coloring rainbows. It blew my mind...that is incorrect. I found it normal for small children to be coloring rainbows. The weird happened when the teacher and helper for the class didn't know the correct order of colors for the rainbow. For some reason I thought this was common knowledge, like which hand is your right hand or how to tie your shoes. As I brought this situation up in several more conversations throughout my day, I was continually surprised to find close to half of everyone I talked to weren't sure about the colors either. I quickly learned that there are two kinds of people in the world: those that know "R.O.Y.G.B.I.V.", and those that do not.
My reality of the world I live in came crashing down around me. What I thought to be a baseline of knowledge and information ended up to be different than I'd expected. Fortunately, there have been no known catastrophes in the wake of my day of realization. As much as this particular situation has had no real impact on my life, the underlying principle has huge ramifications for all of us. It has nothing to do with light refracted by water and everything to do with making assumptions and expectations. Not every parent is like you. Not every spouse is like you. Not everyone has your perspective on education, God, friends, sports, or your insatiable desire for every Apple product on the market. The expectations you bring into every type of relationship has an impact on it. Typically, my uncommunicated expectations within my marriage ends with me giving Amy flowers, because once again I've proven how self-consumed I am and I've learned "happy wife happy life". Our assumptions and expectations, more often than not, give evidence to our knee-jerk reaction to think of ourselves first and others with very little depth.
To sum it all up, it would benefit everyone if we periodically made a point to take a look outside of our own perspective. Truth is truth regardless of perspective, but our ability to communicate those truths is dependent on our ability to speak within someone else's perspective. I think there is a cliche that says basically the same thing, it talks about "miles" and "their shoes". Finally, just remember: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple (technically indigo and violet make up purple).
My reality of the world I live in came crashing down around me. What I thought to be a baseline of knowledge and information ended up to be different than I'd expected. Fortunately, there have been no known catastrophes in the wake of my day of realization. As much as this particular situation has had no real impact on my life, the underlying principle has huge ramifications for all of us. It has nothing to do with light refracted by water and everything to do with making assumptions and expectations. Not every parent is like you. Not every spouse is like you. Not everyone has your perspective on education, God, friends, sports, or your insatiable desire for every Apple product on the market. The expectations you bring into every type of relationship has an impact on it. Typically, my uncommunicated expectations within my marriage ends with me giving Amy flowers, because once again I've proven how self-consumed I am and I've learned "happy wife happy life". Our assumptions and expectations, more often than not, give evidence to our knee-jerk reaction to think of ourselves first and others with very little depth.
To sum it all up, it would benefit everyone if we periodically made a point to take a look outside of our own perspective. Truth is truth regardless of perspective, but our ability to communicate those truths is dependent on our ability to speak within someone else's perspective. I think there is a cliche that says basically the same thing, it talks about "miles" and "their shoes". Finally, just remember: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple (technically indigo and violet make up purple).
Monday, July 4, 2011
Start it off.
I've never blogged before. I've wanted to. I've thought about what I would say, but until now I've been blogless. To be honest, I'm not even sure I like my title but my selfish ambition beat out my patience for creativity. It sounds like a Lord of the Rings reference, but I can assure you that was not my intention. I only named it such because I am "here" and someday I'd like to be "there", which I think is a common thread we can all connect to.
I'd like to begin by setting the parameters on what this blog will be like. I don't know, because like I said I've never done this before. I do know why I started this now. The other day one of my heroes (Jon Acuff) asked via twitter what our worst job was and his favorite response would get a copy of his latest book. On my way out of cell service I tweeted a last ditch effort. I had no thought that I would win, only that I had experienced a bad job that could be ranked high on the "worst job ever" scale.
I tweeted. It had the words: scoop, poop, and 10,000 parakeets; also that I now hate birds. There was a medium to large wave of shock and confusion that washed over me when Jon Acuff himself actually retweeted with a comment, saying he didn't even know parakeet farms existed. That's always a great leadoff into the world of large-scale social media, "What should my first words be about? I think poop is always an appropriate starting point. That's a great idea I just had!! Poop it is." Obviously, I didn't expect any response but it happened regardless. I have not been contacted to know if I won the contest or not, but I did come away with some clarity and a learned lesson. I want to be more focused on what I communicate before 63,000 people read about me scooping poop. This experience has definitely been a highlight of mine, and one that I hope to replace with another that doesn't include excrement of any kind.
The point of this first blog is that we all have a voice. It might seem small, but in the right moments with the right audience it can become much larger than we ever expected it to be. I want my words to count.
One of the standards I've learned is to always leave a place in better shape than when you first got there. I've carried that into the realm of people, I want to leave them in a better place than when I first interacted with them. That's what this blog will be about: me trying to benefit you with what I've learned from my own successes and failures...and other non-pass/fail types of situations. It will be the documented attempt to get from "here" to "there".
My dog is currently trying to chew up some garbage as if it were a special toy I brought home for her, so I must go before she decides what else nearby might be a trash-toy. Happy Independence Day!!
I'd like to begin by setting the parameters on what this blog will be like. I don't know, because like I said I've never done this before. I do know why I started this now. The other day one of my heroes (Jon Acuff) asked via twitter what our worst job was and his favorite response would get a copy of his latest book. On my way out of cell service I tweeted a last ditch effort. I had no thought that I would win, only that I had experienced a bad job that could be ranked high on the "worst job ever" scale.
I tweeted. It had the words: scoop, poop, and 10,000 parakeets; also that I now hate birds. There was a medium to large wave of shock and confusion that washed over me when Jon Acuff himself actually retweeted with a comment, saying he didn't even know parakeet farms existed. That's always a great leadoff into the world of large-scale social media, "What should my first words be about? I think poop is always an appropriate starting point. That's a great idea I just had!! Poop it is." Obviously, I didn't expect any response but it happened regardless. I have not been contacted to know if I won the contest or not, but I did come away with some clarity and a learned lesson. I want to be more focused on what I communicate before 63,000 people read about me scooping poop. This experience has definitely been a highlight of mine, and one that I hope to replace with another that doesn't include excrement of any kind.
The point of this first blog is that we all have a voice. It might seem small, but in the right moments with the right audience it can become much larger than we ever expected it to be. I want my words to count.
One of the standards I've learned is to always leave a place in better shape than when you first got there. I've carried that into the realm of people, I want to leave them in a better place than when I first interacted with them. That's what this blog will be about: me trying to benefit you with what I've learned from my own successes and failures...and other non-pass/fail types of situations. It will be the documented attempt to get from "here" to "there".
My dog is currently trying to chew up some garbage as if it were a special toy I brought home for her, so I must go before she decides what else nearby might be a trash-toy. Happy Independence Day!!
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